Lee Lizardbrain



He made his first million running an underground Goanna wrestling club. It started on a lazy Thursday night at the local pub. He was drinking. His mates were drinking. The blokes the next table over were drinking. Libations flowed as free as a severed lizard’s tale writhing in the dust on a good day to feel alive. Perhaps too freely. Lee flicked his signature pompadoured head back, flitting his tongue out rapidly as he gestured the barkeep to bring out another round for him and the boys. They were served swiftly, being the regulars that they are, and the blokes the next table over were none too pleased about that. Some grimy cockroach-looking fella sauntered over with a bone to pick, flicked Lee’s immaculate pomp into disarray and demanded they take themselves outside. “Ok, but only if we’re Goanna wrestling,” Lee replied. The degradation of the roach was so heinous that it can’t even be written, but legend has it that everyone who witnessed the whuppin’ felt it in their behinds over a year later. From that day forward, Lee’s prowess as a Goanna wrestler penetrated the land like a virus. Hundreds of degenerates came to learn his ways and Lee’s Goannas became notorious for their technique, winning bout after bout. Necks were strained, egos destroyed, and legends made away from the prying eyes of the law. Lee, as the master of the madness, quickly built a small fortune in winnings and tributes. But even in victory, he felt an emptiness in his heart. For what was a victory with no one to share it with? That day, he left the Goanna wrestling world behind in search of a higher purpose, but his winnings were stained with the blood of his victories. He vowed to disburse his wealth and unleash joy in those around him. He knew he must spend it all—for nothing can be taken from this world to the next. There is no budget, there is only living. To this day, he spreads the joys of living life, enjoying and sharing the finer things that life has to offer with anyone around him that proves themselves worthy by passing the vibe check.