tinyLizard

It seemed like a good idea at the start. A lucrative opportunity… An all expenses-paid trip to an exotic island. Five star accomodations, a luxurious clubhouse, amazing beaches, and most importantly? Free drinks. Did it matter that he had found his winning ticket in the spam folder of his e-mail address? No, not really. If anything, it was a test. Only the most dedicated of fans of Crypto Lizards Magazine (Get your copy today, for 19.99 Algorand + shipping. See details on back.) would see through such a well crafted feint. This was it he thought, “this WAS the winning ticket” he had so cleverly deduced.

However…By the time he had realized his Maginot Line of seemingly impenetrable shrewdness had been bypassed, it was too late. The white flag had been waived. Doctor 091, and his putrid band of minions, had him right in their cold, legally questionable grasp. The Kraken engine of the Goanna beam shrieked through the archipelago. This was it, this was the end.

Or so he thought…. When the dust had finally settled, and he came to, the first thing he noticed was his sudden penchant for crocodile eggs. Distracting as that succulent delicacy may be, he also knew that he had an important task to carry out. But his mind was still hazy, and he had yet to come to terms with his webbed appendages, and desire for croco- No… Breathe… Focus… “Damn” he thought. This was a hopeless endeavor. IF it were not for the camera. “Yes! The camera I brought with me” he whispered to himself. If his lizard brain couldn’t be trusted, then surely this human technology could be. With this device, he could take record of the unspeakable evil occurring on this island.

But first, he needed clothes. Embarrassing as it was, he needed clothes. The blast of the Goanna ray had rendered him completely nude. No doubt an intentional feature designed by the sick and twisted Doctor. He retreated into the wilderness of the Island, where he found the skeletal remains of an unfortunate victim of a punji trap. His reptilian eyes surveyed the fresh kill. A pastel pink Hawaiian shirt with vibrant palm trees decorating its surely 100% Egyptian cotton cloth. An alluring mesh cap decorated with a minimal and sleek yellow man. A tinyman… Staring off into the distance, looking at BIG possibilities. And most importantly, the cool blue shades. Any sane individual would have to admit those were pretty damn rad.

“OH YEA!” he roared in his mind, as his newly found green cold blood ran through his veins. This deceased fellow knew what the essence of style was. This was THE look. He donned the wares of his fallen compatriot, and said a few words of respect. But now, back to the mission. To get off this Island. To expose the evil deeds of Doctor 091 with the power of his camera of uncertain functionality. And to maybe, just maybe… Find some divine crocodile eggs. He set off into the overgrowth. There really was no turning back now. tinyLizard chuckled to himself, his tongue slipping out in excitement. Silvio wasn’t going to believe this…